I wanted to go ahead and jump on the blog craze before it burnt out.
Well, not really. I've been wanting to make a blog for awhile and just never really got to it. Things have been busy, or at least I'd like to imagine that things are really busy. For the uninitiated, I'm wrapping up my last semester of college at WT and I'll have just a handful of months of downtime before I pack up and go be a programmer in Dallas, starting with 7 weeks of training in North Carolina.
It's sort of funny how I ended up getting a job. Really lucky, I won't even try to lie about it by saying "yeah, I worked really hard and planned and followed all these steps".
No, the way it happened was I was sitting in the cafeteria and a few friends pointed out how the career fair was the following day. A ton of employers were going to be coming to campus and would be expecting all of the WT kids to arrive and hand out resumes. I had no idea it was going to be the following day and hadn't planned on going, so I spent the next 30 minutes of my life updating my resume with more current info.
The next day I headed out to the career fair and managed to have a good talk with one of the employers. Handed out my resume, and the next day I got an email to apply. I did that, then fast forward another handful of weeks and I was in the interview process. Fast forward again, and I was heading to Dallas for the summer. Fast forward the summer, and I got the job offer.
It's weird to think it all just stemmed from me not really planning on doing anything and just a spur of the moment series of moves that I sort of got forced to make. I guess I'm just not the type to plan. I'm sure there's a handful of people who are like, "oh f*** you", and I'd agree. I just got really lucky, considering "ohh noooes, the economy" and whatnot. My mom would probably say that God is looking out for me, but I don't want to trivialize something as big as God. Pretty sure He's got other God things to worry about. I'm also not going to say I didn't have good grades, because I did, but it still takes more than just a handful of A's to land a job. It's hard to continue this without sounding like a farthead, so moving on.
With the semester coming to a close, and my training looming on the horizon, it's obvious that I spend most of my time trying to fall asleep asking myself, "Holy crap, what am I going to be doing with myself out there? How am I going to live? Will I be alright? I'm a pretty nervous/awkward person as it is, what will I do about this? This is gonna suuuuuuck."
But no, the more I think about it, the more I look forward to heading out. It's a new start. It's a chance for me to grow as a person. I don't know why, but I feel like I've already grown as much as I can as a person here at college. I almost feel like it's now holding me back. I feel like being around people I know holds me back. People already have this image of who and what I am, and I feel like I conform to that image. I'm not the type to break the mold easily when someone already has an idea of what kind of person I am.
Yeah, I'll do the occasional crazy or whacky thing, but who doesn't?
I want to learn things.
I want to get a drum set. I've always wanted to just be a freaking rocker, learn how to play songs, just be a skillful musician. But I just never had the time. Just never really got to it. I have a guitar that I bought in high school that I've never really played. I'm going to learn how to play it; going to get calluses on my fingers; going to come home from work and just spend the day sitting on the couch with the guitar in my hands when I'm too tired to drum, watch tv, and strum it whenever there isn't anything good showing.
I'm going to get a skateboard. I know it's funny that I'm going to get one so late in life, but it's another thing I've always wanted to do, but never really had the time, or even the energy to push myself to do. I can already imagine myself walking into the office with a cast on my arm, but it's what I want to do.
I'm going to actually finish writing my freaking stories. I have so many ideas that I want to put on paper; all these ideas that I want to make into books. I've already started one book and have managed to get over 100 pages in, but I've put it on hold and haven't gotten around to working at it again. I'll have time to get to it finally.
I'm going to paint so many paintings. Tons and tons of paintings. I don't care if I'm not even that good. I enjoy doing it, but just don't ever have the time to. I usually try to paint whenever I'm home on breaks, but those breaks are few and far between and sometimes riddled with homework that I have to get done. When I'm out there, there'll be nothing to really keep me from painting.
I just want to start growing as a person again. It sound super cheesy and certainly douchey, but I'm pretty sure a lot of people can agree that when you're in school or just in a rut, you have to put things on hold, even if it keeps you from moving on. Even if it means putting yourself on hold.
I'm going to be a selfish person whenever I go out to Dallas. And it's okay, because it'll just be me. It'll be fine to be a selfish person when I have no one to worry about. I'm going to focus all of my time on myself. It sounds bad, but what other alternative is there? I'm almost forced to focus on myself. If not, I'll just stagnate.
I'm excited to get to this. I feel like I'm going to really discover who I am.
I'll finally get to it.
I'll finally get to it.
